Perimenopause, Stress, or Something Else?
When I turned 40, I expected some change. A slower metabolism? Sure. I knew eating like I was still in my 20s or 30s wouldn’t work forever. What I didn’t expect were the changes no one talks about, because we’re told those happen later, like in your 50s.
It started quietly. Random sadness, mood dips, brain fog that made me question myself: Am I losing my marbles? Elevated resting heart rate, fragmented sleep, irregular periods. The list goes on. In hindsight, it’s obvious something was happening inside my body. I just didn’t know what to call it.
Until one day, while scrolling on IG, I heard Oprah talking about perimenopause. That was my aha! moment. I am officially perimenopausal, I thought.
Wait… This happens in your 40s? If this happens to so many women, how did I not know about it?
Did my mom know? My friends? Or, do women go through this phase blaming everyone except their own aging body?
And, why does it feel like we’re only hearing about this perimenopause thing now?
Is there more research? More openness?
Or is this another moment where Big Pharma has decided there’s money to be made from desperate women who are trying to keep their marbles together?
With all this information, I did what most women would do: I consulted my OBGYN, who recommended what many doctors are currently prescribing: hormone replacement therapy (HRT).
I was told hormone testing is pointless because levels fluctuate constantly. The only way to find the “right” balance is trial and error. You start estrogen and progesterone and see how it goes.
So I asked my OBGYN the obvious question: What’s the success criteria?
She: “You’ll know.”
me: “How?”
She: “You’ll feel normal…”
That was the problem. I no longer knew what normal felt like.
Two months into HRT, I still had mood swings, brain fog, elevated heart rate, and 11 extra pounds. Worse, I developed circulation issues in my legs. They bruised easily. They hurt in the cold and in the heat. Putting on socks hurt. Lying down was miserable.
After three consecutive nights without sleep, I decided to go to urgent care. All tests came back normal. The doctor suggested I stop HRT because the circulation issues are a known side effect.
The change was immediate.
My legs stopped hurting. Bruises were gone within a week. My energy came back. I wanted to exercise again. Even my perception shifted—colors looked brighter. Green looked greener.
That’s when I realized something important, the reason for which I decided to write this blog and share my experience with you:
Not every symptom I was experiencing was necessarily perimenopause. And not every symptom needed hormones.
Some of what I was feeling was (and still is) hormonal.
Some of it was chronic stress.
Some of it was lifestyle and poor choices.
And some of it was my nervous system waving a very clear red flag.
What Actually Helped (For Me)
1. Introspection
I took an honest look at what was creating anxiety in my life. Chronic stress floods the body with cortisol. Perimenopause wasn’t responsible for all the cortisol I was overloaded with.
2. Daily movement
30 minutes of cardio + 30 minutes of strength training every day (you do you, but this is my routine). Moving my body every day lowered my heart rate, cleared my mind, reduced anxiety, and improved my mood. The extra 11 pounds disappeared, and I feel great!
3. Morning meditation
I started with five minutes first thing in the morning. Now I’m at twenty. It helpes unclog my mind. A regulated mind supports a regulated body.
4. Eating cleaner
Colorful veggies, less carbs, zero processed foods, no desserts (well, not every day).
5. Vino solo con amigos
Wine only with friends. Day drinking is poison to the nervous system.
6. Green tea
I’m not an expert, but it helps (for whatever scientific reason out there).
7. Boundaries
Stop overloading your mind with everyone’s problems. Be selective. Know your limits. Be the CEO of your own mind.
8. Self Love
Spoil yourself daily with something you genuinely enjoy. It’s an investment in your mental health. For me, listening to podcasts about brain plasticity during sauna sessions after my workouts became a quiet ritual that sparked meaningful personal growth. It’s become a small but powerful way to support my brain and stay mentally resilient through change.
If you’re in your 40s and feeling “off,” you’re not broken, and you’re not alone.
Some of it might be perimenopause.
Some of it might not.
The real problem is how little we’re told and how quickly we’re offered a prescription without even knowing what the right dosage is.
I hope this helps you make the right decision when it comes to HRT.
My Forties Files 